3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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