Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
