I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
