ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
