What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
