Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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