perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
