Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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