last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
