saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
