I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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