i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
