Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
