Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
