dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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