Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
