It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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