it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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