So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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