I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
