I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
