My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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