I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
