just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
