He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
