Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize