what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
