My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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