I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
