1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
