That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
