Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
