Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
