so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
