I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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