I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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