fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
