remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
