It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
