I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
