I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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