Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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