Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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