We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Dear god my vagina.
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