I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
