ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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