I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
