last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
