sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
