Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
